bek ([info]aliora) wrote,
@ 2007-04-15 11:31:00
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Entry tags:fic, ghost hunt

[FIC] Not an angel - Ghost Hunt - Mai
I dunno if anyone else has noticed, but I haven't written anything new in around three months. It was quite a disturbing thing for me because I wanted to write, I had ideas and plots and themes, but every time I sat down with my pad and pencil a big fat nothing was all I could do.

I was scrolling [info]31_days yesterday and the theme for April 15 was 'dreaming of angels' and it finally gave me the incentive I needed for a step into the Ghost Hunt fandom. I'm fairly sure the aim of the comm is to do a drabble, but as we all know I fail at the whole drabble-thing, and 2000 words later I have a scene that could vaguely fit into anime canon.

And just before I do the posting of the fic, might I say one thing? It's good to be back, baby! ♥

Title: Not an Angel
Series: Ghost Hunt
Length: 2069 words, oneshot.
Character/pairing: Mai-centric with Naru, Bou-san, Ayako, Masako and references to John. Slight Naru/Mai bias but no romance with sloppy kisses and declarations of love. :(
Rating/warnings: Set mid-anime. Mai has a vague understanding of her power but no real specifics - probably set after Naru did the tests on her. Rated PG.
Notes: Written for the [info]31_days April 15 theme 'dreaming of angels'. The anime never really explained how the rest of the gang learned who visited Mai in her dreams, and this is one attempt to fill that blank. (I'm also sorry for the use of "Bou-san" even in the narrative, but it felt too weird to use his actual name)
Summary: Mai's in a pinch.



“It was the husband!” protested Ayako, raising herself to her full height. “I don’t have to have tea and biscuits with the victim to figure that much out.”

Masako made a polite noise of dissent that Mai thought sounded suspiciously like a snort. “And we will trust your judgement based on your rate of success in previous collaborations?”

Ouch. Beside Mai, Bou-san winced. “That Masako’s got a real way with words, hasn’t she?” he asked her in low tones. “Of course, it doesn’t help that Ayako makes herself such an easy target.”

Ayako spun on her heel, waving a furious finger in their general direction. “I heard that!” she bellowed. “And I don’t appreciate comments like that from someone like you.”

Bou-san raised his hands in a placating gesture. “Now, now, no need to get snappy.” He paused and cocked his head. “Hey, what did you mean, someone like me?”

Mai sent an imploring look to where Lin was hunched over his computer, but he’d angled himself in such a way that his back was to the argument. She tried a bit longer, but if he felt anything, he gave no sign of it. Apparently her unpredictable psychic powers didn’t extend to telepathy, if that’s even what she’d been doing. She frowned. What did you call pushing a feeling at someone? Projected empathy, maybe? There was probably a proper term for it that involved random combinations of letters and numbers but the specifics escaped her. What had they been again, SK? PS?

“Mai.”

She snapped back to the present to find Naru’s face very close to her own, a faint line of annoyance creasing his brow. From his look and tone it hadn’t been the first time he’d called her, and her cheeks flushed at the indignity of having been caught daydreaming. Again.

“N-Naru!” She gave him her best yes-I-was-paying-attention smile and sat up straighter in her chair. “You were saying?”

He didn’t sigh (for once, she noted in some surprise) and instead stepped back before turning to address the group.

“John isn’t coming,” he told them without preamble, ignoring Mai’s shocked gasp. “I contacted him but he has a Church conference and a diocese from Australia has specifically requested his attendance.”

Well, that sounded...impressive. Mai had always thought John must be unusually talented to be a priest and an exorcist at such a young age, but she might actually have underestimated his skills. Either way, if John wasn’t coming—

“How do you plan on performing the required exorcism?” asked Masako, her voice perfectly calm.

Ayako, standing opposite, still looked put out from their conversation earlier. She crossed her arms. “Are you offering?”

Masako shook her head, the action causing her hair to ripple with the motion. “I am afraid that is not possible. I have mentioned in the past that I am unable to perform successive possessions. I am yet to regain my strength from this morning.”

Mai brought a hand up to tug furtively at her own hair. It almost wasn’t fair – Masako’s hair was so straight and silky and she always appeared so composed and –

“Mai.”

“Ah!” She shot to her feet and overbalanced, the momentum pushing her forward and down until she was toppling to the floor. She scrunched her eyes shut and braced herself for the inevitable impact when her nose connected solidly with something else instead.

Slightly winded, she waited a moment before opening her eyes. Black...everything was black...

“Ah!” she cried again, backpedalling. Light returned instantly and she found herself blushing for the second time in as many minutes, because the thing that had stopped her from falling was the convenient placement of Naru’s chest.

She sank bonelessly into her chair and pretended to examine her shoes. Mmm, white leather. Ooh, laces. Wah, Naru’s chest!

Before Naru could sigh or say something cutting or a combination of both, Bou-san cleared his throat. “So,” he said jovially as Mai sent him a quick, thankful glance, “how are we going to do this?”

Ayako bristled. “Nice to see you automatically assume that I won’t be any help.”

Masako made the noise again, but before a full-blown war could erupt, Naru cut in. “Your skills won’t be required this time, Matsuzaki-san. I have something else in mind.”

Masako’s calm expression changed and it took a moment for Mai to figure out that she was now displaying mild interest. “What do you propose, Naru?”

“It’s simple, really.” He turned until he was looking at Mai. “Mai, go to sleep.”

She nearly fell off the chair again. “Huh?

Bou-san tugged at his chin. “Hmm, that might even be a good idea.”

“Yes.” Naru accepted the compliment as if he’d been expecting it – and, Mai thought sourly, he probably had been. “Hara-san needs time to recuperate and Mai can use that window to sleep and gather the information we need for the case.”

Mai swallowed. “I can’t just sleep on demand!” she protested.

“You’ve never had any trouble in the past,” Naru pointed out flatly.

Yeah, well. “That’s different,” she muttered mutinously.

Naru said nothing, simply choosing to look at her as if he knew she’d crack under the weight of his gaze. And, she thought, more sourly this time, he probably did.

“Fine.” She really did want to help solve the case. If Masako tired of baiting Ayako she might say a thing or two about Mai not pulling her weight, and that wouldn’t be fun for anyone. “But don’t blame me if he doesn’t choose to help.”

Everyone stared. “He?” Naru echoed sharply. “What do you mean?”

Whoops! “Well,” she hedged, “um...well, you could say that I have a...helper.”

“Like a spirit guide?” At some point Lin had joined their group and his one visible eye seemed to bore into hers.

She scratched her head and gave an embarrassed laugh. “Um, I guess so. Yeah.”

Naru looked unconvinced. “And? What form does this guide take?”

“Eh heh.” Mai wondered how to phrase it. “Someone I know...”

“Know?” Naru was in full inquisition mode, picking up on every little thing. Mai appreciated his attention to detail when they were working but found it rather inconvenient now. “So this person is not dead?”

She briefly entertained the incongruous image of a zombie Naru before shaking her head, thoroughly disturbed. “Definitely not,” she said emphatically. “He’s very much alive.”

Naru didn’t move but nevertheless managed to convey exasperation in his very stance. “It could be important, Mai. You should tell us who this person is.”

Mai cast around frantically for evasion techniques – even a witty, distracting remark would do! – but her internal struggle yielded nothing. She gulped.

As if he wasn’t already narcissistic enough! To have to tell him that he visited her dreams would send his ego through the roof. She’d never hear the end of it; in fact, she could just imagine the scenarios...

”I see you’re not working,” he’d say, in passing at the office. “Too busy dreaming of me?”

“Of course,” he’d say, if her dream-visions helped solve a case. “The answer was obvious to me all along. The me in Mai’s dreams, I mean.”


Argh! Mai shook her head and stiffened her resolve. She had to avoid that at all costs.

“I am absolutely sure that the form of the person in my dreams doesn’t matter.” Naru gave her another look. “And to prove it, I’ll tell Bou-san. In private.” She reached over and grabbed the monk’s sleeve. “He can decide if it’s important or not.”

She dragged him towards Naru, who was standing close to the door. After a moment, Naru nodded and stepped aside.

“Oh, and Mai?”

She paused with her fingers on the handle.

“Don’t waste too much more of our time.”

Spinning on her heel to give him a piece of her mind, she was fielded neatly by Bou-san, who trapped her hands and steered her outside.

“Easy!” he said, moving them down the hallway. “Scratch his eyes out after you’ve told me about this spirit guide. I want to hear all about the angel in your dreams!”

Angel? Mai’s mind shut down at the very thought. She certainly didn't feel that way, and she was pretty certain Bou-san's tune was going to change as soon as she told him the truth. She was also fairly sure no one in their right mind had ever confused Naru with an angel. Although, she scowled, no one else she knew was that good-looking, intelligent and self-assured. There might actually be something paranormal about him.

"Not an angel," she corrected wryly, shaking off the idea. "Just someone we're both acquainted with who knows pretty much everything. Only in my dreams he actually helps me instead of keeping us in the dark until the great reveal."

She watched Bou-san's face as he processed her words, and burst out laughing when the penny finally dropped, his eyes widening in stunned disbelief.

He looked like he was struggling for words. "N-Na--"

"Shhh!" Mai clapped her hand over his mouth and sent a furtive look over her shoulder. She wouldn't put it past Naru to have followed them outside. Actually, she considered, he probably would have just sent Lin. Either way she didn't want anyone's sharp ears picking up on the conversation and she gave Bou-san a furious look before removing her hand. "Don't tell anyone!"

He blinked a few times. "I can see why you didn't want to announce that to the group." Slowly his lips curved into a grin. "You know he'd never let you live that down."

"Don't remind me." Her own mouth tugged into a smile and she jerked her head back at the house. "Should we go back now?"

Nodding, he slung an arm around her shoulders and together they made their way up the stairs. "I'll tell him it's not important," he said reassuringly when they reached the door. Opening it, he flashed her a grin. "Because you're right, we really don't need Naru knowing that he's the one who..."

Bou-san trailed off. Mai tried desperately to wrench her eyes away from the people in the room but for some reason they seemed determined to catalogue everyone's reaction. Masako brought a sleeve up to conceal her mouth. Ayako's mouth fell open in an unattractive gape. Lin apparently had something eating his computer, judging by his hasty retreat back to the desk. And Naru...

Cheeks flaming, Mai chanced a look at Naru, but the smirk she had anticipated was nowhere to be seen. Instead, he looked vaguely evaluating. Or indifferent. Or unimpressed. It had always been difficult to read his moods.

Beside her, Bou-san fidgeted nervously. "I'm sorry, Mai," he whispered. She barely registered the apology; she was too concerned with mental travel arrangements to distant, isolated lands. Maybe she could go to Australia? Naru wouldn't be able to find her there.

No, her mind corrected, that was no good. He'd found John. He'd find her too! Dammit! Maybe...South Africa?

Before she could brush up on her Afrikaans, Naru had shrugged an elegant shoulder and turned away from the door. "You were right, Mai," he said disinterestedly. "It wasn't important."

She stared. Had she heard that right? Had the most narcissistic person she'd ever known just brushed off an admission like that? Something wasn't adding up. Maybe he'd changed. Maybe he'd found some humility somewhere. Or maybe--

"Although it certainly does explain a lot." He glanced back at her. "I should have known you'd need my help to figure those cases out."

That bastard! Mai bared her teeth and leapt at him, Bou-san just managing to reach her before she could do any damage. Guiding spirit? Guardian angel? Nothing could be further from the truth!

Ignoring her, Naru addressed the others. "Let's leave Mai alone for a while. She still needs to sleep." They filed out the door obediently, Bou-san lowering her gently to the floor and following them outside. She scowled after him - it would be a long time before she could forgive his slip - and tried to pretend Naru hadn't stayed behind.

He paused, hand on the doorknob. "Sweet dreams." Then he slipped outside.

Dazed, Mai sank cross-legged to the floor. She felt thoroughly exhausted, like all the energy had been leeched from her bones. She had to ignore everything that had just happened. She had to think about something else, or nothing at all...

Almost before she knew it, she had settled herself comfortably on the ground. As her eyes drifted shut she realised that even now she was doing as Naru had instructed, going to sleep as per his demand.

And then it didn't really matter. The room faded to nothing as will o' the wisps filled the air, and her anger was forgotten. Because he was smiling as he walked towards her, coat flapping in the nonexistent breeze, and maybe, just maybe, angel had been the right word after all.






First try at the GH world - I'd love some feedback as to how it went. *crosses fingers*




(25 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]aries
2007-04-15 03:51 am UTC (link)
“Mai, go to sleep.” Bwaha ^o^

Heya, I followed the link from the GH community. The only complaint I had was that it ended with a cliffhanger and left me with an empty feeling. What happens next?! -flails-

Everything looks good. Characters are stongly intact. The jabs are well placed and not over done. I especially liked how Naru caught her trying to "project empathy" onto Lin - that was really cute and totally Mai.

Yup, pure awesome.

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 05:08 am UTC (link)
The 'go to sleep' command was actually the first thing that came to mind after I read the prompt. I just knew I had to fit it in somewhere, and I'm really glad you liked that part.

You were 100% right with the whole ended abruptly thing, so I've actually added another 500 words onto the end. Give it another read if you'd like - I'm a lot happier with it now as it actually feels complete.

I'm thrilled you found it in-character and not too off base - GH is actually surprisingly difficult to write for (I didn't expect it to be this hard!) and Naru in particular is hard to get.

Thanks again, and I hope that the added part helps the story out!

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[info]aries
2007-04-15 05:32 am UTC (link)
A perfect ending.

Naru has quite the funky personality, but you managed to capture him and the others exactly as how they are with a believable storyline. I can see how it would be easy to slip into a crack plot with the series' background - with posessions and things that go "bump-in-the-night," but you totally made this a treat to read.


... This means you'll write more, right? ^.~

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 07:03 am UTC (link)
Yippee! :D

I actually have a vague multi-part story plan in my head, but I'm leery of starting it because I have at least four other unfinished stories I should be working on. I'm torn because the fic would have Yasuhara and I lurve him muchly but...yeah, four other fics. >_<

I'll see how long I can resist the plotbunnies. Either way, thanks again for reading!

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[info]blood_opal
2007-04-15 04:14 am UTC (link)
Cute. Real cute. XD

And I agree with the person above. This seems to end right in the middle. Maybe you could extend it a little and have Mai and Bou-san come back in and Bou-san tell everyone that it's not important? I don't know. :p

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 05:11 am UTC (link)
Thank you! Mai is just so much fun to put into situations like this and I'm glad it came across okay.

I actually felt like something was missing from the story too, so I'm really glad you mentioned it. I've since gone back and added about 500 words to the end, integrating your suggestion of Bou-san saying it's not important, and...well...going from there. :P I'd love it if you could have another look and let me know what you think; I feel it's actually complete now but I hope I haven't stuffed it all to hell.

Thanks again for reading and letting me know how you felt. You put your finger on the exact problem I had with the story and really helped me out. ♥

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[info]blood_opal
2007-04-15 06:15 am UTC (link)
Not at all, thank you for writing this. I've read quite a few Ghost Hunt fics and it's hard to find one that doesn't make my eye twitch. The fact that I went through this entire fic with a stupid grin on my face is, well, nice. :D Though I am surprised that Masako didn't try to claw Mai's eyes out glare at Mai when she came back in after hearing that. XD Or maybe that's just me. :p Er... yes, just ignore me. *scuttles off*

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 07:10 am UTC (link)
I've had a bit of a look at the available GH fics and the thing that has struck me about most of them (apart from the generally subpar grammar) is the sudden and unlikely LOVE! that Naru feels for Mai. I'm a Naru/Mai fangirl but can admit that they're not really on the road to a relationship; any fic that developed their feelings would have to overcome the great big stumbling block of Naru's emotionally crippled state.

So (I think this was my point, I got a bit distracted by a compulsion to go GRAGH FANFICS!) what I'm trying to say is I'm very flattered that you enjoyed the fic. Thanks again!

(And I completely forgot about Masako - just pretend she got Mai at a later date. Or, like, snuck up on her while she was sleeping just so she could interrupt Naru/Mai time!)

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[info]blood_opal
2007-04-15 07:25 am UTC (link)
OMG YES, THE HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE GRAMMAR THAT HURTS ME EYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS!!! DDDD:

*cough* You'll have to excuse. I'm a total grammar whore. >.>

And yes, Naru's personality is usually the thing that irks me the most in the GH fics that I've read. It's like he does a total 180. I mean, I think he does have some affection for Mai (romantic or not) but I doubt he'd ever show it openly. And even if they do manage to get together somehow, I still see him as pretty much the same arrogant, ice block he always is. :p I guess what I'm trying to get at is: touchy-feely, let's-do-something-special-just-for-Mai, hug-hug-kiss-kiss Naru equals OH HELL NOES!!!!

(And ahahahaha! I love Mai-Masako rivalry! It's always good for a few laughs. I could totally imagine Masako just glaring daggers at Mai for the rest of the case. XD)

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 10:38 am UTC (link)
MY RETINAAAAAAAAAS!!! Somehow, I always feel violated after reading something with crappy grammar. MAKE IT STOP!

(And seriously, me too. It's nothing to be ashamed of!)

You know, I was reading the Naru entry on wikipedia, and it states (I quote): Though appearing cold and critical in front of his friends, he does care for them deeply especially Mai. I was skimming the article and I couldn't find Mai's entry; this part was on the tail end of a paragraph and I just assumed it was Bou-san. I glanced several times and was starting to wonder if they'd actually missed Naru all together and then I actually looked closer and went WTF! Yes, he does care for his friends in his own way, but I didn't think the "especially Mai" was entirely warranted. Yes, they have a connection, and yes, he treats her more casually than everyone else, but I'm still not sold on the caring for her deeply part. Hmm.

(I think I read one once where Naru was frazzled because he couldn't figure out what present to get for Mai. I think canon!Naru would have given that particular fanfic incarnation a very chilling look. And probably said something very biting. :P)

And yes, Masako-Mai rivalry is hilarious! I think their strange friendship made that out-of-body-key scene in the anime even cooler. And then when Masako turned and put her nose in the air? COMEDY GOLD.

(I've replied with other stuff to your comment to the Corda fic. ♥)

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[info]blood_opal
2007-04-15 11:00 am UTC (link)
Somehow, I always feel violated after reading something with crappy grammar.

Dude, that sentence describes the way I feel perfectly. Bad grammar leaves a terrible taste in my mouth and the only way I can ever overlook it is only if the fic is DAMN good.

I'm sure Naru cares about Mai deeply, just not partially. That is to say, she doesn't seem to get any special treatment from him most of the time, if at all.

(And I think I read that fic too! Except I don't remember how it ended because I probably hit the back button after the first sentence or so. :p)

Did you see the end of Ghost Hunt? That bit at the end where they were fighting over who got to make tea was just too good! XDD

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[info]gold_dusted
2007-04-15 07:39 am UTC (link)
Wow!

That was amazing! I'm not part of the [info]31_days community but it's a really good interpretation of the theme! It was just perfect. I keep reminding myself this is anime canon; it fit really well!

Everyone was kept in character perfectly. Bou-san was brilliant. "Because we really don't need Naru knowing..." Oops. I could just picture Mai's face.
And I love the way you portrayed the tension between Ayako and Masako! 'Masako made a polite noise of dissent that Mai thought sounded suspiciously like a snort.' That line cracked me up! But there wasn't as much between Masako and Mai...
As for Naru! "Sweet dreams." Perfect Naru behaviour! You managed to get Naru's character absolutely perfect. And I'm sorry I keep using this word, but I'm too lazy to think of another one that fits as well ^__^;; It was really fresh, the way you didn't rush straight into Naru blushing; the response you did give was more of the Naru we've seen and I think I can say it was nicer to read as well; it was quite a nice thing to say as far as Naru goes XD
And Mai! I'm forgetting about Mai here. 'Mmm, white leather. Ooh, laces. Wah, Naru’s chest!' Mai was perfect as well. It was exactly how she would have reacted. 'She wouldn't put it past Naru to have followed them outside. Actually, she considered, he probably would have just sent Lin.' Your Mai-->Naru comments were brilliant, they made me laugh at just the right moments, and you interspersed them really well.

No, her mind corrected, that was no good. He'd found John. He'd find her too! Dammit! Maybe...South Africa?

...

That bastard! Mai bared her teeth and leapt at him, Bou-san just managing to reach her before she could do any damage. Guiding spirit? Guardian angel? Nothing could be further from the truth!


I wanted to post the entire part because I absolutely loved it, but I'm sure you don't want to read your own story again, hehehe... But anyway, that was an absolutely amazing portrayal of Naru and Mai. The whole thing was, but I could particularly visualise that... "Or maybe--" Brilliant!

I really enjoyed this; I wish it actually were canon! Thanks for posting, and please write more of these XD

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 10:45 am UTC (link)
No, wow to you! This is seriously one of the loveliest and longest comments I've ever received, so thank you so much for taking the time to go through and pick which parts you enjoyed most. :)

I'm very bad with themed communities as they generally have a time limit, and because I'm a terrible procrastinator I always let the deadline whoosh by. I was just checking out the prompts on a whim last night and I saw today's theme and thought that maybe I could take a shot at it. And I'm glad I did!

Poor Bou-san - he's one of my favourite GH characters and I really wouldn't mind seeing him paired with Mai in fic, but I haven't seen any of them around. And I forgot to keep up the tension between Masako and Mai, but it's good you enjoyed the Ayako/Masako interaction.

Naru is, quite simply, the most difficult character to pin down. He never really shows us what he's thinking/feeling and that kind of character doesn't lend itself well to fics. I could never attempt a Naru-POV story for that same reason, but because the series is told from Mai's perspective and we get her thoughts it's easier to just paint his character as Mai would see it. I'm thrilled that you think I did well in that regard - my ego is puffing up as I type!

If you could see it happen, then I succeeded in my goal, and I'm so happy you enjoyed the fic. You've absolutely made my night with your wonderful comment, and I shall certainly try to write more stories in the GH universe. Again, thanks for reading. GH certainly is love!

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[info]yunaura
2007-04-15 08:48 am UTC (link)
I really meant to comment earlier, but I got distracted with making icons. ;;>>
And I can't seem to get my new Ghost Hunt one to upload~asdfgaaa~

Anyways, I read your fic through the first time before the revision, and I personally didn't think that it was a bad ending. I guess I run into a lot of fics that end with that speculation feeling, so I'm used to it, but the first version was pretty good on its own...But since you're more satisfied with your new ending, I guess it isn't so bad. Mai spazzing out seems to be such a funny normality, although all we normally get is her face turning red. x]


That bastard! Mai bared her teeth and leapt at him, Bou-san just managing to reach her before she could do any damage. Guiding spirit? Guardian angel? Nothing could be further from the truth!

LOL I remember a scene or two like this in the anime as well. x]


You really caught the essence of Ghost Hunt, which is a hard thing that a lot of other fics tend to lack--I think it's because the mood is overall more serious, and some of the other fics tend to stray on the mood of the setting. But I still like the other fics purely for the Mai/Naru factor. :]

The end of your fic also approaches some spoiler! territory, but I think I'll just leave it at that... xT

Now that I've hopefully finished rambling, I wish you best of luck on your future fics, and I look forward to reading them. :] I've looked through some of your other works for series that I know --I thought I recognized you somewhere: it was from the La Corda one, although I liked the Saiunkoku one as well--, and found them very much in character. Can't wait to read from you again. x]

Me and my long comment splurges...xP

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-15 10:56 am UTC (link)
Ah, distractions. I know them only too well!

It's good that the fic was fine to you in the first place, but I honestly do like it more now. I wasn't sure how to tie up the loose ends so I just ignored them, but I like how it was more of a cycle kind of thing the second time around.

I love Bou-san being a restraining influence on Mai, so I had to throw that part in. One of the things I really enjoyed about the anime is that we get Mai's thoughts through her narration, but she doesn't always show/act on what she's feeling. It was interesting writing and finding a balance between what she was thinking and saying.

I'm really flattered you think I got the mood of the series - that's a really wonderful thing to be told. (I'm surprised and thrilled by this positive feedback, I've been grinning like an idiot all afternoon). Naru and Mai are my OTP as well, but I have a low tolerence for overly-romantic stories in both fanfiction and published works, so I generally steer clear of them, thus missing out on a lot of the stories. :(

(And I've read most of the spoilers so I know what you're referring to, but I tried not to be too overt. In the original draft I scrapped a line of Mai's thoughts where she was thinking how different real! and dream!Naru were becuase I didn't want to ruin anything for anime-only fans).

Please, ramble as much as you want! As you can tell from my long-winded reply, I do it too. :P I'm amazed you recall me from other fandoms but it's great to hear you liked my previous fics. I'm actually watching the last few eps of Saiunkoku season 1 now so I'd like to try my hand at writing for that again, and I have an unread copy of the La Corda manga vol 3 somewhere - maybe that will get me going again.

Thanks again for your lovely, positive feedback, and I'll do my best to write more stories that you might enjoy. :)

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[info]chironstar
2007-04-15 02:20 pm UTC (link)
OMG, PLEASE tell me you're gonna continue this!!! Gah, you can't leave me hanging like this!

I love how you kept everyone in character! And poor Mai.

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-23 01:00 am UTC (link)
I'm so sorry about the late reply - I've been snowed under with work and uni and haven't had a chance to check until now! And I won't be continuing this particular story but I'm planning to (at some point) write a multi-chapter 'case file' fic. I juust need to find the time. :)

Thanks for reading, and I'm flattered to hear you thought it was in character. Poor Mai indeed!

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[info]sapphire_18
2007-04-15 04:17 pm UTC (link)
that was a nice fic... i loved the way you portrayed the characters... they were still in character... ^_^

the ending was ok, but the fangirl in me screams "more!!!!!!! i want MORE!!!!" hehehe XD

hmm... i guess the others already commented on the stuff i wanted to, so i guess i'll just make this short, i love the plot, i love the funny moments and i want to have more!!! lol XD thats all... hehehe ;p

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-23 01:04 am UTC (link)
Thank you! I'm so pleased that people have liked the way the characters came across - it really makes my day. And I have a habit of dragging out stories so I needed to finish it at a particular point, otherwise it would have gone on forever and gotten boring. :(

I'm planning to write a longer story at a later date, so stay tuned for that. Thanks again for reading!

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[info]sapphire_18
2007-04-23 03:11 am UTC (link)
I'll be looking forward to it then ^_^

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[info]grass_angel
2007-04-16 05:16 pm UTC (link)
Wow. That was my first time reading Ghost Hunt fanfiction.
Firstly, I need to catch up with it further than the first three episodes and three manga. I'm obviously missing something, even though this ficlet didn't spoil anything too much for me.

Secondly, the characterisations were spot on. Mai's twittery teenage-ness and inner thoughts and Monk-san's leaking and Ayako's own self-inflated ego thing.

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-23 09:18 am UTC (link)
Whoa, really? *is honoured to be the first* :D

Yes, you absolutely must read/watch further. I found the beginning of the series a tad slow but it picked up quickly and the last few arcs of the anime were just awesome to watch. (But I'm glad it didn't spoil anything)

Thank you re: characterisation! It's such a pleasure to hear that, especially as I was nervous about posting this, never having written the characters before. I'm glad you liked them.

Sorry for the late reply - I've been snowed under with various things and I don't get comment alerts for my writing journal. :(

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[info]grass_angel
2007-04-23 11:13 am UTC (link)
Well, I already knew about Mai's ability, so I may skip ahead six or so episodes so I get past what I've read. It is on my current viewing list though.

I actually think this was a rather neat story to be my first. Mostly because it's a 'betweener' and fits into the canon nicely. Nothing too jarring... ^__^
And it's no problem about the late reply, I like having surprise replies.

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[info]moonlightstorm
2007-04-16 05:50 pm UTC (link)
adslkfjaflj *LOVES ALL OVER* God, I adored this. Everyone was in character and Mai and Bou-san and Naru were just perfect and oh man. I was laughing and smiling through the whole thing. I. am. in. love. and. I. like. periods. Really, this is probably one of the best Ghost Hunt fics that I've ever read. You win the internet.

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[info]princess_dexter
2007-04-23 09:22 am UTC (link)
Ahaha, I recognise that icon! (Turns out you read my Ouran fic as well - I'm stoked to have you here for a repeat performance :D) And to hear you love it all over - that's a lot to love! *happy*

I was actually going for a darker tone to the fic, with some serious! questions and some introspective! moments but alas I am unable to write stuff like that and always wuss out in the end. That's why most of my stuff is fluffy and plotless. But anyway!

I'm thrilled you liked it that much and I'm positively blushing that you think it's among the best - thanks so much for reading this, and your comment made my night. *puts internet in pocket*

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