| bek ( @ 2006-12-14 21:34:00 |
| Current mood: | nerdy |
| Entry tags: | fic, saiunkoku |
[FIC] On the Way - Saiunkoku Monogatari - Ensemble
I realise this is a bit early, but I'm going to start posting my giftfics now, because no one will want a 15-entry spam on Christmas Day. So merry early Christmas,
mrs_urahara - here's your Saiunkoku request fic. I know it doesn't have as much Seiran/Shuurei as you probably wanted, but I can't help it - I love Ryuuki too much, it was just too hard to write. Hopefully this will be suitable, though, and who doesn't love Ensei, right? ♥
Title: On the Way
Series: Saiunkoku Monogatari
Length: 2424 words.
Character/pairing: Kourin, Ensei, Shuurei, Seiran. Slight allusions to Seiran/Shuurei.
Rating/warnings: Set sometime between episodes 22 and 23 of the anime, so spoilers until that point. Rated PG, I guess - nothing offensive.
Summary: Written for
mrs_urahara, who requested Saiunkoku Monogatari with Seiran/Shuurei. Kourin watches, Ensei sees. She understands a little better now.
Perhaps, Kourin admitted to herself, straining to lift the heavy bucket out of the stream, she was trying a little too hard. The guilt of what she'd done still weighed upon her conscience, and while she was attempting to right a wrong, it was entirely possible she was going the wrong way about it. It had been three weeks since they'd left Kiyou for Sa Province, and where Shuurei had accepted her attentions in the first few days of their journey, of late she seemed irritated by Kourin's fawning. There was no denying that Shuurei was a capable woman – one only had to look at her impressive achievements to know that. But it was Kourin's job and penance to take care of her, and that was becoming increasingly hard to do. How was she supposed to help someone who didn't want – or need - to be helped?
She sighed and braced herself, managing to raise the bucket with some difficulty. Was there anything Shuurei couldn't already do better than she could ever hope to anyway? Kourin had always considered herself quite accomplished in the domestic arena; that was one of the reasons Sa Taiho had recommended her as a lady-in-waiting. But Kou Shuurei was the former High Consort to the Emperor, as well as the first female official of Saiunkoku, not to mention the daughter of the prestigious Kou clan and now co-governor of Sa Province. All Kourin had become was a nuisance, when all she'd wanted to do was to serve well.
Well, she wasn't going to achieve anything by dwelling on things. Shuurei had worked very hard to get to where she was today, and she'd endured terrible hardships along the way. Kourin had no illusions as to the kind of woman she'd become, were she to go through the same experiences as Shuurei had. All she could do was try to help Shuurei when the opportunity arose, and remain a quiet support in the meantime.
And she could start on that by lugging the bucket up the hill.
They'd made camp earlier in the afternoon. Seiran had stiffened in his saddle and shared an unreadable look with Ensei before kicking his horse into a gallop and disappearing over a rise. Shuurei had been speaking with Eigetsu and didn't notice, but Ensei watched until Seiran was out of sight, sticking his head into the caravan as soon as he was away.
“Hey, Hime-san? I think we should stop here for the time being. There's a nice little copse to the left a ways, and from what I remember of the map, there should be a stream nearby.”
Shuurei had nodded, looking out past Ensei and noting Seiran's absence. “Yes, of course. But where did Seiran get to?”
Ensei widened his smile and averted his eyes. “He's surveying the area. Such a worry-wart, that man. I guarantee that you'll be safe here.”
And so the matter had been settled. Seiran had returned half an hour later, a slight sheen of perspiration the only indication of any trouble met along the way. Shuurei welcomed him back none the wiser, but Kourin had seen the slight nod Seiran angled at Ensei, and the subtle relaxing of Ensei's posture when he knew the threat had passed.
That was what Kourin was good at. Watching, observing, and hearing what wasn't said.
She gritted her teeth and struggled with the bucket again. If she were honest, it was probably too heavy, but there'd be little use in taking it back to camp only half-filled. The stream was a fair distance from where they'd settled in for the night, and she'd volunteered to fetch the water in order to have some time away to ruminate, as well as to provide an immediate help. The strain of travel was weighing upon all of them, but for Shuurei - who had never been separated from her father before - the toll was the greatest.
Taking a step, Kourin pulled on the bucket. It didn't lift and instead scraped along the ground before hitting a rock and tilting over, sloshing water all over her slippers and gown.
“Oh, no!” She knelt beside the bucket and buried her face in her hands. She couldn't do anything right. It was a payback of sorts, it had to be – the gods knew what she'd almost done and they were punishing her for it, letting their displeasure be known. She'd very nearly taken Shuurei's life, and so she deserved whatever the gods chose for her fate.
Knowing that didn't make it any easier to bear, however.
Hot tears pricked at the edges of her eyes, but before she could dissolve into self-pity and start crying in earnest, the scrape of a sandal against gravel shocked her out of her reverie.
“Ah, Kourin-chan!”
She glanced up at over her shoulder at Ensei's voice, bringing a hand up to wipe shakily at her eyes. He moved closer and crouched down next to her, a hint of concern on his bearded face.
“What's wrong, little one?” He looked past her and noted the fallen bucket, a cupful of water still pooled inside. “Decided we didn't need any water tonight?”
She sniffled and resisted the urge to rub at her nose; it wouldn't do to appear so unladylike, even if it was only Ensei. “I couldn't carry it,” she said softly, ashamed at how pitiful she sounded. “The bucket was too heavy and I dropped it.”
He raised his eyebrows. “It was too heavy?” he repeated incredulously. “Why didn't you just tip some out and come back again later?”
She sniffled again and shook her head. “No, that wouldn't work! Doing that would only publicise my incompetence. I have to do better, for Shuurei-sama.”
Ensei expelled a breath and picked up the bucket, walking over to the stream and dipping it in. When he spoke again his voice was sharper, having lost its usual jovial edge. “I can't say that it wouldn't be difficult, being the one who tried to take Hime-san's life.” He rose when the was bucket full, fixing her with a hard look. “But don't pretend that your actions are not your own. What's done is done, Kourin-chan, and the sooner you realise that, the sooner you can move forward and on with your life.”
She met his gaze and faltered, looking down at the damp ground and her muddied skirts. She let his words sink in for a moment before bringing her hand up and rubbing at her nose. “You're so direct, Ensei-san,” she said when she was finished, the faint stirrings of a smile tugging at her lips. “But your words always seem to help me, so I thank you for giving me perspective on this.”
He grinned and rubbed at the back of his head, balancing the full bucket easily on the palm of his other hand. “Ah, don't mention it, Kourin-chan. To tell the truth, my mouth usually gets me in a lot of trouble, so I'm glad to be of service to someone.”
She got to her feet and patted herself down, wincing when she saw the streaks the mud had left on her skirts. It was going to be difficult to get out, especially with the sparse provisions they'd brought on the trip.
“Shall we go back to camp, then?” He'd watched her carefully as she stood and she was reminded of those silent exchanges he'd had with Seiran. Of course, she wasn't the only one who saw what others didn't. Ensei, too, understood more than he let on.
She nodded. “Of course.”
They set off from the stream in what Kourin considered a companionable silence, allowing her to muse on how weak and foolish she must have appeared. It was important, she supposed, to be aware of these poor characteristics from an early age, because then she could work harder at overcoming them. Through this, she would one day – hopefully - become more like Shuurei, closer to her caring nature and kindness and sense of right.
“You care a lot about Hime-san, eh?” Ensei looked thoughtful. “She really does have that effect on people. You, me, Eigetsu-kun, the Emperor...” he trailed off, swinging the bucket easily at his side.
Kourin nodded. “And Seiran-san, of course.”
Ensei smirked. “Well, that guy's a different kettle of fish, but you're right at that, Kourin-chan.”
“Different?” she echoed, confused. “What do you mean?”
He rubbed at the back of his head again. “Ah, it's nothing. Just forget I said anything.” He started whistling jauntily and increased his stride, making it hard for her to keep up.
She watched the broad expanse of his back for a minute, reflecting on his words. What made Seiran different? Shuurei was such a wonderful person that the people around her couldn't help but want to support her in all endeavours. Kourin herself was a prime example – she had come from a would-be assassin to an almost-friend. It was easy enough for anyone with eyes to see that the Emperor was smitten with Shuurei, and she could also boast the support of high-level government officials. Even Li Kouyuu, renowned for his dislike of women, had assisted her with studying for the recent exams.
So what made Seiran different? Certainly he was accomplished in his own right; by all accounts he was a strong and capable swordsman, and a faithful servant to Shouka and Shuurei both. And yet Ensei had implied there was more to his loyalty towards Shuurei, some deeper reason for him to have supported her all this time.
She gasped. He couldn't mean...
Breaking into a jog – she could be unladylike in front of Ensei, as he was the only one who knew her secret, treating her honestly in spite of it – she caught up to him, tugging at his shirtsleeve and almost dislodging the pail from his gasp.
“Oi, Kourin-chan!” He steadied the bucket, taken aback. “What's the matter, all of a sudden?”
She waited to catch her breath, still reeling from the surprise. Why hadn't she thought of this? “Do you mean that Seiran-san has feelings for Shuurei-sama? That he cares for her more than he should?”
Ensei smiled one of his ready smiles, but his eyes slid to the left and he flapped his hand a little too enthusiastically. “Of course not! I told you to ignore what I said. Honestly, Kourin-chan, as if a mean guy like that could ever have anything like love in his heart.” He patted her on the head and strode forward again.
She followed him, frowning. Truthfully, it explained a lot – the lengths Seiran was willing to go to in order to protect Shuurei, his presence while she was still a consort, the unthinking, immediate acceptance he'd had when presented with this post. It explained a great deal about Seiran, but what did Shuurei think?
She hadn't married the Emperor. She could have – she still could – but she'd accepted this position in faraway Sa Province and left her friends and family behind. She was an extraordinary woman, clever in so many ways and talented beyond compare...but she could be oddly oblivious as well. If Kourin were the type to gamble, she would bet that Shuurei had no idea of Seiran's feelings. More to the point, however, was whether or not she felt something in return.
“Here we are!” Ensei announced unnecessarily as they reached the camp. Eigetsu was poring over some scrolls by the campfire, while Shuurei and Seiran were in the midst of preparing dinner. Everyone looked up as they made their way over, Shuurei abandoning her pile of vegetables to run across and meet them halfway.
“Kourin!” she cried, reaching her side and giving her a worried look. “I didn't know where you'd gotten to – I'm so glad Ensei was able to find you at the stream.”
Ensei laughed. “Don't worry, Hime-san. We just had to find the right place to get the water from. This selection,” he waggled the bucket, “is guaranteed to be the sweetest in the whole region.” He winked over the top of Shuurei's head, and Kourin found herself smiling shyly back.
“Seriously, Ensei,” Shuurei groused, but she was smiling as well. Turning back to Kourin, she extended a hand. “I was thinking we could boil up some of that salted pork my father gave us, adding vegetables to make a stew. Would you like to help?”
A sudden warmth flooded Kourin's cheeks, but after a moment she nodded, taking Shuurei's hand and following her to the food. “Of course, Shuurei-sama. Tell me what you would like me to do.”
“Well, you could start by calling me Shuurei,” she chastised gently, just as Seiran joined them.
“Ojou-sama.” Shuurei turned towards him and Kourin watched them carefully, taking this as an opportunity to study their interaction. When he had Shuurei's attention, Seiran continued. “I noticed some barley shoots at the side of the road, back a ways. I was thinking we could add some to the stew tonight.”
Shuurei's face fell. “Barley, Seiran? You know I--”
“While hardly delicious,” Seiran carried on smoothly, “mixing some in with the stew will make the meal more filling, and as we don't have time for regular breaks while travelling, it might be a good idea.”
Sighing, Shuurei nodded. “Yes, that makes sense. You're always thinking ahead and looking after us.” She gave him a fond smile. “Thank you.”
Seiran bowed. “You're welcome. Excuse me.” Turning, he left the campsite, sharing another look with Ensei. Kourin didn't say anything when he strapped on his sword before leaving, filing it away for future reference alongside the strange feeling she'd gotten when he'd told Shuurei she was welcome. Maybe it was Ensei's words distorting her perception, but when he'd bowed and spoken, it had really seemed like he was saying something else.
“Coming, Kourin?” Shuurei's voice jarred her from her thoughts and she blinked, moving to one side of their makeshift table. Picking up a knife, she started slicing the pork.
She had plenty of time to think about this. They were still weeks away from Sa Province, and that was only if they were able to continue at this pace. In the meantime, she could help out in small ways, doing everything in her power to allow Shuurei to make this journey with ease.
Like everyone else around her, Kourin was caught by whatever it was that brought people to Shuurei's side. There was more to her dedication than just innate respect and love, however, and one day soon, Kourin was certain she'd find the strength to tell her that.
“You look happy,” Shuurei noted, pausing midway through peeling a carrot. “Did something good happen?”
Smiling, Kourin shook her head. “No, not yet. But it will.” She beamed at Shuurei. “I'm sure of it.”
First ever Saiunkoku fic, so I'm certain everyone's a bit OOC. Hope you like it anyway,
mrs_urahara! Merry Christmas again!
nerdy